Burst into.....flames!

it's just a week ago, we had silent war..this time, i guess balloon just burst due to unable to release last week's contain!

i gotta admit it, i was suppose to forgive and forget, i manage to forgive, but forget....it takes longer (definitely not a week time to do so)...

it was really tiring and sleepy last night after service. i woke up at 6.20am, prepared myself and went out at 6.50am. by 7.25am, i start help cousin fiancee, Mei yong to make up to be a pretty bride. it is much tougher than i imagine! got it done by 8.10am, went off to hav a short bfast and met up at Thean Hou Temple. everything settled by 10.30am, met Esther and Joshua (both photographers)

we then went to Bandar Puteri Puching for lunch, at a place call Anggerik which serves Indo food. the food was not bad...small portion but we were content after a celebration!!! we decided to get a hair cut at that area, search and found a place, Gc Salon...boy, we were in for a WAIT!!!
i waited for half an hour for my turn, while...poor dear waited bout an hour plus.....frm 1.15pm till 3pm plus...not coming back for the 2nd time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went to pyramid (travelling back home is a lil far) to kill time b4 heading to church for service..was really sleepy by then!!! after service over, thinking to go home straight for a rest...so didnt want to join CG for diner, but....ac agreed when asked. so i thought, it's ok...but he's not planning to have diner, so i decided not to go..told him during our ride there, suddenly, everything turned ugly.

i forgot who started it, probably me again frm ac's point of view and said i yelled at him (mayb i did)...i kept quiet, angrily said, we can go if he want to have a drink. he sternly said NO. when we were at the roundabout (almost hit a idiot fella driving recklessly), another car coming from right side, signaled to turn left, and this is when ac hit the oil, again, scared the hell out of me!!

ta-da...this is when my balloon burst!! i ...hrm....scolded him....he explained, he didnt did it intentionally and didnt see the car....i think it didnt work by then, bcoz my heart pumping rapidly, mind all blurred and confused....i did the unthinkable to release IT....i screamed on top of my lungs....YEAH!! i did it...not only once, but 3 times!!

after doing so, i feel relief...as if i have unleash the monster inside of me building up! my body weaken, heart beat steadied, and i am....speechless....2 drop of tears...sliding across my cheeks, i closed my eyes, not wanting to see anything till i reach home.

it's my fault...tension been building up, unable to release it...due to really small matter, i exploded! bad timing....been having alot of thoughts lately...what a way to start new year 2010!! being a stubborn head, i wont step down..unless he does it. how he did it? yes, AGAIN by pretending nothing happens. it's his way of solving problem...

during all this years of relationship, last night...i guess was the worst of all, i remembered i yelled/screamed once or twice.....this is the 3rd....really awful one! a pathetic Sunday is what today is...